Getting Over an Anger Episode

My dad won't quite messing with me.  He's coyly looking at his DJing and he put on stuff to annoy me and then went off and did stuff I don't know about.  I had to admit just how mad I was so it wouldn't come out.  I got an image I didn't like that I had to revel in but barely.  I cannot say what my real feelings are but that this is preposterous to flag me out to the world bad for no reason.  It's Tim Burton or related stuff that did that.  It might be the N word thing.  Even - okay I'm back.  You all need to know when you think of k***ing someone that the result is disgusting.  I pictured something like wrapped in spider web, like on the TV show I watch, the beginning intro. to each show, a spider wrapping a bug, "Those Who Kill" starring Chloe Sevigny.  So, no, I did not revel in it itself, but it made me feel like I wasn't bothered and tried to erase it.  I didn't think it on purpose.  There might be something in me that could not stop it unless turned on and peppy.  If I just sit there, I'll have no defense mechanism.  And I'm not a dork, though this isn't the time to be wondering.  I had more to say.  What's wrong with my dad picking music he wants?  He made me lose focus when I said someone, unnamed, was a nonentity.  I just sorta dozed off!  I didn't mean anything.  Why just give up on relationships with me?  I was in bed trying to go to sleep then woke up and had to eat.  The music he played was stuff I didn't wanna hear.  It was just for saying nonentity by accident.  Of course, I'm viciously angered.  I don't think you guys care, though, nor does he, with whom you like to converse - being mean to me!  I'm more angry about these people constantly reminding me of saying nonentity.